Over spring break plans were made for Aaron’s parents to come visit us on campus for a weekend. Well that visit happened to be this weekend and Aaron’s apartment was not exactly a saucy dwelling. The guys rushed around and cleaned a little but Lauren, Aaron’s cousin who was also visiting this weekend, got stuck cleaning the kitchen.
For every student living on or off campus, parents are bound to show up sometime and they expect to see that you are not living in your own filth (even if you are). Here is a how to run down for cleaning your space and making it parent acceptable in the shortest amount of time and with the smallest amount of effort.
On Campus
If you are the lucky occupant of a smaller than small, cinder block walled living space called a dorm and your parents are on their way to visit, then this is the how to for you. You are probably stuffed in to a tiny room with two plus people and every single thing you could bring from home. This equation can only equal one thing: a mess. If cleaning your dorm is 100% unbearable, bribe your roommate into doing most of the work by offering them a six pack and get to cleaning.
• Clear out all alcohol and drug related items
Your parents probably suspect that you have them but they definitely do not want to face the reality that you do.
• Take out the trash
Seriously. Even if it’s your roommates turn to do it and your stubbornness has lead to a mountain of trash crawling up the wall, just suck it up and take out the trash. All of it.
• Open all windows
Ventilation is key. Even if it’s the middle of winter and there is a crazy blizzard blowing outside, cracking the window and allowing some fresh air to circulate in your stuffy, rank room will make a huge difference.
• Clear off all seating
That is just polite. You may make your friends stand around awkwardly when they come to see you, but your parents are probably paying for the room, your stuff, your food, your clothes, tuition and gas money. Give them a place to sit.
• Stash anything in the gross/crusty/smelly category into the closet or under the bed
I know this isn’t really cleaning, but only so much can be done in so little time in a small space. Take advantage of the closet door and stuff as many things as you can behind it. Your padres will never know.
• Make your bed
Comeon, its not hard, it looks good and your mother will be so proud. Also, beneath folded covers is a choice hiding spot for dirty clothes, X rated pictures that you have temporarily ripped off of the wall, random bits of paper, and porn.
Off Campus
For those of us who have graduated from the dorms and are now living in off campus apartments or houses, cleaning for the parents is more important than ever. If you have your own room there is no longer a roommate to blame and a messy house will lead your parents to doubt your capacity for being responsible. When they call your cell to let you know they are getting off of the highway, it’s time to make a mad dash and clean your space.
• Follow the dorm room steps
It won’t take very long and you probably have more space to stash stuff in your apartment/house.
• Do the dishes
If you are lucky enough to have a dishwasher (and it happens to be empty) your job is easy. Just round up all of the dishes from your place (I collect water cups at my desk) and load them into the dishwasher. Don’t worry about turning it on, as long as last weeks dishes are tucked away and out-of-sight, that task is done.
• Put out the pillow/throw/night light/candles that your mom gave you
Do not make the mistake of thinking that she will forget that decorative draft stopper that she gifted you for you birthday. She will expect it to be displayed and used properly the second she walks in your front door.
• Make the bathroom presentable
This could mean different things for different abodes, but do whatever you need to do to make your bathroom clean enough for your parents to use. Even if your toilet doesn’t get cleaned more than once a quarter, try to make it look like it gets cleaned every week.
Related links:
How To Clean A Dorm Room Quickly
How To Intensely Clean a Dorm Room
